When: Saturday, December 9, 2023, 3:30 PM HST NOTE THE LATER START TIME!
Where: Maple Street Park and Pool, 75 Maple St, Essex Junction, VT 05452
Hares: Salty Cumpiss and Just Will
What to bring: Cranium lamps, holiday costumes, bah-humbugs, nutcrackers, a whole roll of Toll House cookie dough that we’ll eat as fast as we can, unwrapped toys
Instead of our typical hash cash, please bring a new, unwrapped toy (or toys) for ages 1-14 which we will be donating to http://www.toysforkidsvt.com/
’Twas a few weeks before Christmas and up north in Vermont,
A rowdy group of drunks were restless and ready for a jaunt.
Holiday lights were hung around Essex with care,
Where soon the pack would be chasing their hare.
With hymnals in hand and beer in their belly,
Von Tramp was ready to sing very loud and quite yelly.
Familiar tunes could be heard above the pack’s obnoxious clatter,
So parents came outside to see what was the matter.
They listened intently before realizing with fright,
"These carolers are rude!" and ushered children from sight.
The hash hurried along with glee out into the snow
Because they had 16 more songs and a beer check to go.
But as the group run away, a dad exclaimed for them to hear:
”That was actually pretty funny. We’ll see you next year!”
Salty and Just Will pick up the baton and will be leading our pack of would-be raunchy choir on our yearly caroling trail! Expect to hear songs about underwear, restrooms and perverted snowmen. We provide the hymnals, you just need to bring an unwrapped toy in place of hash cash. Maybe this year we’ll even see some twinkly lights! And I’m not even going to mention the disgusting coal shots Salty did two years ago in hopes they don’t try to do that again.
Note: Trail starts at 3:30pm so that it’s at least kinda dark out when we go to see all the pretty holiday lights.