When: Sunday, September 4, 1:00 HST
Where: Burlington, VT
Hares: The Taskmasturbator and maybe you?
The following is from a letter sent to the MisManagement of Von Tramp.
Dear Von Tramp Hash House Harriers,
Hello and welcome to Taskmasturbator! Your host, the mysterious Taskmasturbator, has selected Vermont as the next location for their terrible knockoff version of the acclaimed British show. Expect a test of wit and wisdom as you risk life, limb, and dignity in the hope of making the Taskmasturbator proud. The competition will take place on Sunday September 4 at 1pm in the Burlington area (and yes, there will be a trail component in addition to the tasks to be performed).
For those unfamiliar with the original Taskmaster show, may I avert your attention to the YouTubes, where you can search Taskmaster - Series 2, Episode 1 ‘Fear of Failure’. Or click this link if you’re reading the digital version of this fancy-as-fuck letter.
Did you watch it? Great. If not—I don’t give a shit honestly. But now that you have a basic understanding of how this is going to work, I present you with your first task, aka the prize task:
Bring your bravest dildo to show the Taskmasturbator.
The winner of the day will not only go home with the super amazing Taskmasturbator trophy, but also with all the objects that your fellow hashers believe could be used as a dildo...if they're brave enough. Maybe you’re brave enough?
Your second task is to simply RSVP and let the Taskmasturbator know you’re cumming. Bonus points if you let the Taskmasturbator know that you can help them plan trail. Double bonus points if you bring a sacrificial virgin. The supposed “tyrant” of Von Tramp has graciously added a link on your website to help me determine how many of you will be participating.
Now fuck off wankers and get to work. You have less than 3 weeks to find me your bravest dildo and get your name on the “Who's Cumming” list to participate!
On-on,
The Taskmasturbator