Salty Finds A Moose But Loses Trail, colorized. (1874)
When: Saturday, July 1, 2023, 1:00 PM HST
Where: Milton Town Forest, 599 Westford-Milton Rd, Westford, VT (….what?)
Hares: Salty Cumpiss and Make That Noise
What to bring: Bug protection, sun protection, whistles, $6.9 hash cash, virgins, friends, enemies, additional Canadians
This July 1st, join VTH3 as we celebrate everyone’s favorite non-American summer holiday: Canada Day! Did you know that Canada is so obsessed with America they tried to make their own birthday around the same time as July 4th? Yup! And it’s celebrated the same way: with fireworks and drunken shenanigans.
But you can leave your loonies at home because our hares will be leading the pack through the Milton Town Forest which is fortunately no where near Canada (But Google says is in Westford). That means you can do whatever the heck you want without needing to worry about crossing an international border and being discovered by a roving group of mounties. Things that this trail could have but probably won’t: epic hockey matches, people speaking French, fresh beaver pelts, rampaging mooses, Ryan Reynolds, mountains of poutine, and a private showing of the classic film Strange Brew.
There’s only one way to find out.